Priscilla's Blog

Sometimes, you act like you are not in love with me. Could this be what old couples feel? I don’t think so. The childlike affection and love at first sight kind of attraction is something I still see among elderly couples. 

I know I’m with you but you make it difficult to make that assertion of you. I am a deep thinker, you know this and we’ve talked about how sometimes I need assurances on the most minute things. Why don’t you make me feel we’re on the same page?

I trust you but I want to feel safe with you. Safety isn’t just about being physically secure for me, it is knowing that you understand me and would be willing to put my feelings and inadequacies into consideration in your decisions and choices.

I do not know how else to capture this. I have spoken repeatedly; I am now termed a nagging lady as your insistence on not paying attention to the things I desire has risen as much as my repetition. Should I quit speaking?

Love Me Jeje, Love Me Tender is a lyrical line that serenades lovers but I’ve searched so much for it in our love story, it is not only missing but non-existent. Could this be the fate of my love life? Tough love? Inconsistencies? Inadequate show of affection?

It’s hard to walk away and even difficult to stay here. I love you and you certainly love me but what is love when it is not a verb? A noun, you say but no one needs love as a noun. I want to know you love me not because you keep ringing it in my ears but because your actions say it.

I’m lost for words. A hurt so deep, words can’t encapsulate the magnitude of it. 

I hope you get to listen. I hope I don’t get to walk away. 

Let’s make this work.

Or not.