Priscilla's Blog

I asked Lateef if we were still friends. 

Lateef and I go way back – days of undergraduate studies, getting real close, becoming besties, falling in love, life happening and still keeping up with each other years after school. 

The last time I saw Lateef was a special day. It felt like we had the whole day to ourselves,  actually, we did. We strolled miles together and he took unaware pictures of me. We talked about anything and everything. I ate from Lateef’s food, laughed about some of Lateef’s plans and goals and slept while Lateef watched me. It was beautiful.

After that day, we knew maybe this could actually be a thing. We could make this work. We started texting more and it couldn’t have been any more dreamy.

I saw some of his plans, so I took the chance to invest in making some of them easier for him to achieve. “Lateef, do you know Chickwiz? I’ve sent you money to get some so you can eat and add weight”

Lateef was also the sweetest, he didn’t fail to send me yummy treats from my favourite banana bread vendor. The notes he added to the treats were the icing anyone would be happy to have on their cake. I kept them and took them almost everywhere.

Lateef didn’t pop the question yet but I knew this talking stage was going to move to the next level. We started planning for a proper date and because Lateef is my friend, we spoke about every intricacies that went into it. The cost and if we would need to split the bill or he was good. It felt so surreal.

Lateef calls me on a beautiful evening while working in a common area. Awwww, look at me not having anxiety on seeing a call. I was blushing. Anyway, I took the call and said “Heyy, you are on loudspeaker” and the conversation continued. 

Lateef isn’t a prude and so is confident about asking questions and having conversations many would term inappropriate. 

He popped a question that wouldn’t have been embarrassing were I the only one in the room but everyone around looked at me weirdly on hearing. Lateef repeated it twice and I quickly took it off the Loudspeaker and told him everyone heard him.

That was our first fight. He didn’t understand why I didn’t take the phone off loudspeaker after telling him it was on speaker and I didn’t understand why he would expect it to be off loudspeaker when I was express with my words.

We stopped talking as much even after we let it go. Was I hurt? Maybe. The episode still plays in my mind and I think maybe we would have been good if he hadn’t called that day or if my call anxiety kicked in and I didn’t pick up.

Lateef stopped reaching out and checking on me. Most importantly, he missed my birthday. Whew!

Maybe, we would still have been good together if we didn’t try to love outside friendship. I reached out to Lateef and asked if we were still friends. 

Lateef responded:

“Not so sure”.