Priscilla's Blog

Being quiet and reserved is a cue to knowing that you would vent badly when you have taken in so much than you can take and you just start pouring them out in response to every little thing. 

Chances are that people think you are overreacting in these instances, which will mostly be true as your response isn’t based on the immediate circumstance only but the immediate circumstance triggered previous emotions and they all decided to come into play.

This isn’t restricted to quiet people only as extroverted individuals, vent in response to other factors aside from pent-up emotions. In most cases, they know how to express themselves and communicate their feelings when the situations arise. They rarely have pent-up emotions based on how they could have responded better or should have created boundaries for mutual respect among other things.

Some reasons you have pent-up emotions are:

• Stress
• Emotional hurt
• Fatigue
• Disappointments
• Childhood trauma 

These reasons are not exhaustive.

Regardless of the personality trait you possess, one thing is sure – you must have vented before or will get to vent just one day. I recall when I was in Junior Secondary School and I just changed schools, I really wanted to be friends with a lot of my classmates so I tried to not take offense, pick up their dirt when they littered my desk area, and help out in ways I could. LOL

I couldn’t take the unnecessary dirt anymore and I wasn’t even aware I spoke up to one of them to not litter the class. She looked at me with shock in her eyes then I recovered and said “Sorry, but pick up your biscuit nylon”.

This can happen and still happens to the best of us. I have some workable tips you might find helpful. They are:

• Use the 5-Second Rule

This rule is used to build confidence as well as take important actions. In this instance, keep your response for 5 seconds and if it still seems significant in your mind after 5 seconds, then it might be very necessary to spill it. 

• Just rest

Yes, you vented already now rest. Don’t beat yourself overly about it. Don’t overthink it. If apologies are needful, please tender them and pick yourself up.

• Create boundaries

It is important to make your boundaries clear from the onset so you don’t set yourself up to having pent-up emotions.

• Be Assertive

Communicate how you feel in the best possible way hopefully before an issue arises. Be as firm as you can in communicating expectations.

• Don’t take everything personal

Not everything is personal, some things just need clarification. You can take a walk to ease yourself of the emotional burden them return back to address the issue.

• Learn to forgive

Don’t hold a grudge about everything. Forgive and let go easily, it will make your life easier.

Sometimes, you are just not in a great mood for a joke and so take things beyond what they actually are. Wisdom teaches us to acknowledge our flaws and faults and take reasonable steps to prevent a reoccurrence. It can be good to vent but best to communicate and let go.